My New Year's Resolution

I'm not known as a happy person. In fact, I'm quite the pessimist. I like to say I'm a realist, but really, I'm a pessimist. But if I'm being honest, its because I spend a lot of my day being bitter, or jealous, or angry, and mostly, insecure. I often feel like life is not fair and that I deserve better. Better than what? Really, everything-a cleaner, nicer house, a job where I am paid a more livable salary...you know, life.  And lately, things seem to have gotten worse. Or, at least, my feelings towards my life has gotten worse. So, I need to fix it. So, my New Year's Resolution is to make this year the best.year.ever. And Pinterest is going to make it happen.

I am a firm believer in Pinterest envy. Mainly because I experience it daily.You can read about it here, but it's where people (mostly women) pin things they want to make/do/see, and feel like these things will make their life more...something. They'll be a better wife/teacher/mother/person and because they often can't measure up to the perfectness they create on Pinterest, they feel less than. They feel like other wives/teachers/moms/people are all doing it, so why can't they?

I often feel like a failure. My house is always a mess, I'm always poor, and I always feel like I am the least put together person ever. However, from the outside, I'm sure that's not what people see. In fact, at a Chick-Fil-A Spirit Night a couple weeks ago, a parent commented that I'm their child's favorite teacher because I'm always so organized and the child always knew what to expect. I think I'm the most disorganized, the student thought I was the most organized. Perspective.

My pastor, Steven Furtick, tweeted one time:

I think this is important to remember when we examine our lives and compare them to others. However, I also think that it's important to realize that if there are things we want in our life, we should go after them. If I want to be a better wife/teacher/mom/person, I should also put the work in. Putting in work does not mean pinning 8998 things on a variety of boards (you can follow me here, I love followers!) and then being miserable when you don't accomplish them. Putting in work means...well, you do the work. If I'm jealous of the mom who hand makes adorable Valentines for their daughter's class, I open up that pin and I make adorable hand made valentines for my kids' classes. If I am feeling insecure because I have an entire board called Getting Skinny, but I still weigh the same I did was I was 10 days post-baby, a baby who is now 2 years old b-t-dub, then I open up some links and I stop being a fatty. 

So, my New Year's Resolution plan is two-fold: 1. to keep things in perspective-to remember my worth as a person and know that that I see negative in myself is not what others see, and 2. to stop pinning things and start DOING things. I'm also going to keep this blog so you can see that a girl who struggles with insecurity and anger and bitterness, like every.day, can make things happen for the better. 

You should probably stick around. Things are going to get interesting.